The grass probably isn't greener

Warning: long post ahead.

The school nurse position I have now was my first "real" job out of nursing school. I dabbled as a summer camp nurse before it, and someone that I encountered that summer suggested I look at school nursing jobs. So I did, thinking I had nothing to lose, as finding a job with benefits was something I was struggling with. When I received the offer for my current job shortly after I interviewed, I accepted, thinking it would be something to tide me over until I got a "real" nursing job. When I signed my paperwork at HR, they presented me with a hiring bonus offer. I would keep the bonus if I stayed for three years, and I asked the HR representative what would happen if I left: it's a hassle, she explained, but all you have to do is pay it back. I took it, but not readily, assuming I'd surely have a new job by then and didn't want to have to repay a hiring bonus to HR.


In the last four years, I have applied to countless jobs on and off with varying degrees of enthusiasm. I've had a few interviews, but nothing panned out. Then I got pregnant, and I wondered what kind of role model I'd be to my child if I stayed in a job I felt unchallenged in, so I returned to the job search with renewed vigor. I went on maternity leave, and worked even harder to find a new job; I had to turn down two different interviews the week she was born because I wasn't physically ready for them. I pressed on over the summer, most recently with an interview at the local public health department just before I started back as a school nurse.

Complicating matters has been California's School Nurse Credential requirements. I received my "preliminary" credential just for being a breathing human being with a nursing license, but I knew I would need to go back to school - at no small cost, of course - to get my "clear" credential and keep my position as a school nurse. The concept has been difficult to wrap my brain around: after receiving my Master's several years ago, I was sure I was done with school. How could I have to pay to go to school to keep my job? It sounded nuts.

Then I was a working mother, and everything changed. I had four glorious (and exhausting, and blurry) months during maternity leave, and didn't realize how much I was taking for granted that time with her. Back at work, I had one hour in the morning with her, and two to three hours in the afternoons with her before her bedtime. (Yes my baby sleeps 11-12 hours a night and yes I know I am lucky.) I realized what it would be if I took a job at the local health department: less than an hour in the morning, and less than an hour in the evenings, not to mention no Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring, or summer breaks.

I sent in my acceptance to a credential program this week; I start in January 2015 and will have my full credential in December 2015. I have a job that is what I make of it, and it has been challenging and overwhelming so far this year; I know once I get in the rhythm of things again I will appreciate once again the special part of some children's life I get to be as their school nurse. Importantly, I've realized school nursing is a "real" job, and I would challenge anyone who had the guts to say to me otherwise to take over for a week.

My daughter turns 6 months old Tuesday, and I could not be happier to pick her up from daycare each afternoon. I love her, and finally know that the grass probably isn't greener than what I have now. Life is good, so why change it? Even if it means going back to school to maintain it. The other thing it means: I no longer go to work already halfway out the door, keeping my eye out for something better. I don't really know what is better than having a job I don't mind much of the time, and even really like sometimes, that pays the bills sufficiently to maintain a humble but happy lifestyle in one crazy town that I love.

Edited to add: I saved this post as a draft earlier in the week, and have had one of the worst weeks at school I've ever had (to be posted later), and I am still happy I have committed to the credential program to stay where I am.