When in doubt...

All through nursing school, or any mandated reporter education, you hear "When in doubt, report it." No one tells you that there will be times that reporting might do more harm than good. What about when there are cultural differences, as was the case for one nurse who told me of a reporting dilemma. A young teenage girl was married to an adult man, custom for where they came from in India, but an atrocity here in America. What about the girl whose mom you are sure beats her but if you report her to CPS one more time, it still will do no good, and the girl will probably only get beat again because of it? (Not to mention having that said angry mother will come looking for you too.) Is it wrong to not report her mother, even if you have proof in the shoes she is neglecting her daughter, because you know if you do you will probably lose the fragile relationship you have built with her daughter? They don't teach you the fear of the nurse that parents drive into their children when they've been reported to CPS, and they don't teach you how it feels to have suddenly lost respect from that child too young to know right from wrong. I will tell you: it is terribly, terribly disappointing to start connecting with a child week after week, assuring her you are an adult she can trust, something you know she doesn't have enough of, and then have it be ripped apart because her mother thinks you reported her to CPS. What's actually worse, though, is knowing you didn't report her on account of not wanting to lose that relationship, and now you've lost it anyway.