Kid talk

A teacher dropped off a student in my office, telling me she found him puking into a drain outside. He was very open about the illness:

"Well I had two wet poops today, and that's a sign of sickness."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah, they were wet. You know, when it's all liquid-y and stuff?" (Gestures with hands to demonstrate.)

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I was leaving my elementary school when some kids - the one whose parents are routinely late picking them up after school - stopped me near the entrance. They were hunched around the globe that sits there, and pointed at the African country of Niger as they asked me:

"How do you pronounce that?"
"How do you think you pronounce it?"
"Well he thinks it's Niger, but I think it's the bad word we aren't supposed to say."

I changed the subject to the multiplication tables they're studying.