"Walmart will never be the same,"

said the highway patrol officer as he began the two day training I attended, Drug Impairment Training for Educational Professionals. That's right: I somehow convinced my boss that I was worth $100 and two days of being absent at work to get trained on recognizing people under the influence, and that's where I went instead of to school this Monday and Tuesday. I haven't attended many similar trainings/conferences, but this one certainly exceeded my expectations. First, the food was actually decent and there was plenty of it - always key. Second, the presenter was one of the best presenters I've ever encountered: engaging, and more than that, inspiring. I have never met someone so passionate about his job. Third, the material: totally eye-opening. I don't consider myself that far removed from my kids (and some of them don't either, see previous post), but I was totally clueless about a lot of things before this week. AXE body spray? Yeah, that's an inhalant, a very widely used one. When boys are spraying each other and giggling, they're not just being boys, they're getting high. Just on the way home, I passed by a whippit in front of the high school, something I'd have thought was just weird trash on the side of the road before this training.

We were well quizzed on signs of impairment, like pupil dilation and bruxism, and while I can't claim to be a Drug Recognition Expert, I do feel these days were two days very well spent. Many props to the California Highway Patrol for presenting this training. The officers there were totally human, and from a public relations standpoint, they could not have presented themselves in a better manner: down-to-earth, intelligent, professional, and with a good sense of humor (as they munched on donuts this morning). 

**Note: this "rave" (pun intended - I learned more than I ever thought I needed to know about raves in this thing too) review is quite biased for a couple of reasons. One, I was able to fulfill my life dream of biking to work today, and unless you know me personally, you can't know just how great that was for me - flies, 90 degrees, loud trucks, and all. Two, I love law enforcement: it's exciting, it's fun, it's rewarding, and I don't think there is anything else necessary, besides nicer uniforms. In my next life, I'll be a big, burly man cop that gets to carry around a gun. For now, you say you'll pay me to spend two days hanging out with highway patrol officers? Yes, please.