Turns out not all my kids are poor.

My 3rd grader diabetic - the one that goes to the school across the freeway, the school that's not really mine except for this kid - walked in today and announced he is getting an iPhone for his birthday. He looked at the phone I was texting his mom on, as I do every day to tell her his blood sugars so she can track them, with pity. [It's nearly 4 years old, from the Razr era, and certainly no smartphone.]