Down for the count

The germs finally got me. After feeling well since school started (an amazing track record after last year, when I felt like I woke up with a sore throat more days than I didn't), I woke up last weekend with the dreaded sore throat. Things worsened through the week, and I realized I needed to go home on Wednesday morning when my little 3rd grade diabetic told me I looked and sounded terrible. I decided I would go home after I checked my diabetics at lunchtime, and was dreaming of snuggling under my covers when, while with my diabetics, I got a call from my other elementary school. Those people wouldn't know an emergency if it was screaming at them in the face, so I answered the phone with dread: what could they possibly be calling about? They were at wit's end, and a parent was demanding she talk with me about the lice situation at our school. I told them I was trying to go home sick but fine, I would talk with this lady: I knew exactly who this was and could not in good conscience just leave them with that lady.

I met Lice Mom shortly after, and immediately regretted agreeing to do so. She launched off on a tirade about how the school is infected and I'm doing nothing about it, she has a list of 23 students that have lice at this school, and that she was thinking about reporting me to the public health department. (Ha! As if that could scare me: it wouldn't be the first time.) I had to ask her to repeat a couple of things because I was so congested I could hardly hear, and when she looked frustrated at me for having to repeat herself, I explained I was ill and how "sorry" I was that she was having to repeat herself. Apparently that was the greenlight for her to go off about her reported pneumonia and kidney infection, as well as what color her urine was that morning - which her daughter so helpfully chimed in with (why does a 5th grader know what color her mom's urine is?).

No matter that her daughter's hair had been so poorly combed through that it wasn't just full of nits, but actually had live lice too. This woman just needed someone to blame, and I suppose give me a heads up in case the public health department calls. I meet many crazy parents, and crazy in many different ways, but in all cases I mostly feel sorry for the kids. In this case, Lice Mom said she is keeping her daughter out of school until all treatments are complete, despite my repeated explanations that she can come back before treatments are finished if she is nit-free (but that would involve spending time combing through her hair instead of complaining). I don't really care if parents are crazy, but it's the kids that suffer.